More than anything in the world, I cannot resist a good scare. But how in the world can I love something so inhumane? Believe me, it’s easy to make my heart pump like a fire hydrant. I jump when I walk into a dark room and bump into a chair, foolishly mistaking it for a killer/demon/cannibal, whatever suits your fancy. Yet I am still attracted to those heartless killers. So, naturally I have the urge to describe why, because it is such a gruesome and controversial pastime. It’s taken me years of watching gore flicks and experimentation to develop a theory on my masochistic desire.
In the early months of my schooling this year I would feel bizarre moments of aesthetic happiness. Not only was I practicing Buddhism and meditation during this time, but I was smoking a regular amount of pot. Now this has not been proven to have caused my newfound feeling, but I assume it was a factor. This feeling rarely comes to me now, and I still cannot describe it to it’s full potential but I’ll do the best I can: I would concentrate on my breathing cycle, let the blood flow through my veins and then an odd thing would happen. My gut would explode in incredible contentedness. I would smile for no reason, look around the classroom and simultaneously experience the breathing of every other body in the room. Strange, it sounds, I know. But it was a few of the happiness months in my existence.
Now thinking back, this visceral emotional outburst can be compared to similar sensations of elation. First of all, sex. Sex occurs in the gut and when an orgasm ensues, neurotransmitters in the brain release feelings of extreme bliss. Second, my bizarre experience in school. I have no idea what caused it (my memory is unfortunately fleeting) but all I know is I can compare it to the visceral joy that I assume other people have discerned several times in their life.
These events bring me to the main topic, of why j’adore le filme de gore. I’m currently watching a traumatizing movie entitled Seed from 2007. (I will give you this warning now: Seed is the name of a real life serial killer, and in the movie he kills animals, infants and humans. It is extremely graphic. Do not watch if you’re faint of heart.) My warning of course will only intrigue you further which was not the intent but, reverse psychology is difficult to ignore. So I will grant you a follow-up warning: Bad movie with bad acting, terrible directing, incoherent script and nothing you won’t catch in any other sadistic terror flick. Now past all this… as I’m watching I’m getting a brutal and wrenching feeling in my gut. But wait! This does not have to be perceived negatively. I have been given the blessing to compare it to my other visceral moments. Although I once theorized that feelings of extreme happiness are rooted in the gut, I know longer feel this way but I believe a strong connection is made between this mid area of the body and the brain.
In conclusion, watching horror movies is like getting an orgasm. You keep building up and clenching tighter in your stomach while you tremble and quiver in anticipation until… Ahh it is finally released. I almost feel guilty, because the reaction I get while watching a killer stalk prey on screen is almost like getting cheap sex. But that may all just be the S&M side of me. (Sorry for the outburst of personal information, but it is honestly the only describable way I can account for the fulfillment of being scared.) Any other horror fans in the building may or may not receive the same vibes as I do (all of this is based off assumption) but it would be awfully strange if I was the only lover of my horror-viewing affair because of gut reactions. I could care less about rating and promoting, but I want some damn opinions. Why do you like horror movies?